The Almighty

The supreme leader?

Nope. Can't say that.

That would be like trying to contain atmosphere around us in a bottle.

Well, the air is inside the bottle if you ask, but it is there outside as well.

No shape could define it alone, but all shapes together define it.

The only way to feel it; dissolve in it.

Me, you, this and that are not here for a reason. We are here because it is a reason for us to be.

When the pride and self obsessed thoughts subside, you feel it is just bliss alone.

No reasons, No causes. Simply we are.

We could; so we are.
Else, we wouldn't.

Time - Ally, villain or coincidence?

How much importance does time and space hold in your life?
It's true 'time and tide waits for nobody', but does that mean you should be defined by them?



Many of us feel we were born in the wrong place at the wrong time or at least either of the two. Is it because we could have had a better life, if we could alter it?



But would it have changed your life entirely? Or by a mere fraction due to the centennial differences in atmosphere and industrial growth?



Would you let time time decide something for you in your life?
Could you just let it happen and call it destiny?



Would you not want to travel back in time, if something you wanted doesn't occur?
Or curse time for the bad things it led you to?



We cannot control time either. The only way we can get hold of time is to get hold of our self and apply it according to the time available.



We cannot choose the time and space of our birth. But what we can do is, choose where to spend the living days of ours in the way we want. If not you, who can decide it for you?



Each and every second of time is repetition of the previous instances, but we don't let it repeat with our actions or with constant changes.



Fate and destiny, are two words we turn to when time strikes us with unwanted blows.
You may not be able control everything, but the things you can control can create the environment you want to live in.



Time a villain, ally or coincidence? At many difficult times in your life, time would have helped you heal the deepest wounds.



Random it may occur, but then would it fit your reckoning? Or to be more precise; would you fit in that abstraction by so called fate?



Call time a passing fancy and observe the patterns, you can understand it. You cannot alter it but you can learn to embrace it.

Happiness, A Choice!

Have you ever woke up and thought, "Oh no, today is going to be a bad day for me!" or "God, why me?"

Well if you have, you might not be the only one to feel so. It can be due to various reasons. Maybe you have a due-date and you haven't completed your work. It may be due to disappointing results. It can even be  because of spilling the bad news to people you love.

 Many of us think happiness is a feeling we have when we see the things we love or be with the people we love or acquire the things we love. What we don't understand is that, it is a decision  you take in life. Have you ever wondered why the bad things only happen to you and the people around you are comparatively happy and they seem to be free of all the problems you are facing? Well, everybody has good times and bad times. There isn't anybody escaping the bad times in life. If not now, later they will go through similar phase (or even worse) in life. But that doesn't mean they have to sulk and whine about it while they are at it. 

Not all happy people are problem free, they just merely overcome their emotions. Never let your emotions get hold of you, get hold of your emotions (irrespective of joy, despair, anger, fear, disgust etc). All the emotions together makes us human and it is essential for us. But as you understand life deeply you'd see that all emotions are required for expressing oneself but emotions aren't that much important as we think it is. It will add flavour to ones expressiveness, but it shouldn't alter him/her by adding flavour to the person.

Remember,

"Happiness is a journey and not a destination!"

Have a happy and wonderful day! Cheers.

Soul 'e' locked

1. Pink

The fire from the oil refinery was soaring high at quite a distance. It is flaring in the darkest time of the night. There are no other lights in the area apart from few street lamps. The light reflected off her face partially. She was glowing in the dark like an angel with aura.

I traced my index finger along her forehead. Her eyes were closed but she wasn't sleeping, no, not yet. Trailing my finger from her forehead to her nose down to her lips I observed the prettiest face I had ever seen, there, a smile had bloomed on her lips. As I traced her lips, it parted a bit, making her gasp for breath. Running my finger down to the chin, I rested my finger there for a few seconds. Her skin, smooth as silk, was a pleasure to both, the finger tip and eyes. Golden, she was, reflecting the light from the fire, as if her skin was covered in gold. I laid there a few moments keenly observing and soaking in the details, including the minute ones. The black spots she had here and there on her skin might have been an imperfection to some, but to me it wasn't. The dips and scars on the skin might be an imperfection, but to me it wasn't. The teeth which was not perfectly aligned might be considered as an imperfection, but to me it wasn't. Each and every single cell seemed perfect, if not more!

Moon is considered to have intoxicating effects, as, if you go out on a moonlit night and look at the moon for sometime you will feel light headed. There she lay in darkness where she was the only thing glowing gold, reflecting the brightness, intoxicating me with every breath she took, every pore she had on the skins, every hair strand on her, every single cell in her body was luring me to them making me feel light headed. Well there it was, my moon.

I ran my finger from the chin to the sides of her face. Small dimples on either side started appearing because her lips were changing to form into a smile. Chin to cheeks and to ear, my index finger made a path. The small circles I drew on her ear made her to shudder with tickle. She was half asleep but no, not sleeping. She turned her head slowly towards me and her eyelids opened slowly. Her eyes met mine. Her lips had a smile, a very ecstatic smile. Though it happened in a few milliseconds time, it felt like eras had passed by. Enchanting it was. No, She would never be mine, but I didn't want her to be mine or anybody's for that matter. Letting her be herself was I loved the most. She had that grace, that exuberance, that care, that love which was what described her. No, I didn't want her to change. She was perfect with all the imperfections she had.

She looked at me straight to the eye and smiled. The love and care out of her eyes made her appear enchanted. I leaned forward towards her lips. Gently I closed my eyes and I stopped for a second. I could feel her warm breath on my lips. I just couldn't resist, I leaned forward till our lips touched each others. Her breathing was becoming heavy; so was mine. Kissing her passionately, I forgot about all the worries and dramas in life. Pure bliss, I could feel only the bliss! As the kiss grew stronger, I thought,
'Do I blame Karma and live with inadequacies, or would I do something to alter the Karma and make life euphoric?"

After all, everything in this universe is merely vibrations.

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2. Golden Green

The molten-gold beams gleaming down between the gaps of the forest's canopy, splashed onto the floor. The ground itself appeared fiery because of the glow. The space around us is in shades of gold, green and brown. The sun was hurriedly sinking to the west. The sky was changing from blue and white to red and orange.

The running water in the cave was ice cold. It felt mystic to go inside the cave and see nothing but pitch black. One of the five senses totally shut down! But that would just make you more aware of the other senses.We had to listen carefully and find the origin of the stream by just sound and feel. Spiders were hanging down at the beginning of the cave, but then again you don't see anything beyond that few feet from the cave entrance. There could have been spiders, snakes and god knows what. But we never bothered, after all we are all the offspring of the same mother, nature. No other being would attack unless it feels vulnerable. It's merely a mechanism for self-defence.

We walked through the forest covers to the open field. We have to reach down to the road, before the last strands of gold vanished. Everything around was lush green and looked very much alive. The ice-cold water from the stream had rejuvenated both body and spirit. In the west we could see the blazing fireball get devoured by the horizon, It was a mixture of red and yellow (Golden to be precise!) all across the sky as if it was bloodshot from the setting sun. We climbed the hill to enjoy the last few moments of the visual treat; last few minutes of the day. Sunsets and sunrises are magical, one would never get tired of seeing them over and over again. It would only make you think and realise the wonders of mother nature. One thing about looking up in the sky is that, it makes you realise how infinitesimal you are in this humongous world. Still we complain about our lives and the inadequacies in it. We forget that we are like cells in our body. If the cells don't work together and thinks selfishly about itself only, the body would malfunction. Same would be the case with the universe. We don't exist, we co-exist!

I climbed a  big rock to be on more higher ground, thereby giving myself a bigger view of the whole scenario. She was behind me and wanted the same for herself. I understood that and  I offered her my hand, but she wouldn't take it. "If I can do it why can't she?", must have been the thought she had at  that time. She wanted to do it by herself. She looked for places where she can climb the same rock. She found herself an alternate route to be on the same place as I was. She just wouldn't give up, a wonderful quality I found in her.  Challenge her and she will make sure she did it. I admired her courage and passion to do things she wanted to do. She might be stubborn at times, but that just defined who she was. Never would she cave herself in, for others' thoughts. A standalone soul which wouldn't get biased based upon the environment. But then again, she is naive; one could easily manipulate her thoughts, provided she trusted that person completely. She mesmerised me throughout. I wondered how she could be at both extremities and the same time.

She is strong, but fragile.

She is determined, but doubtful.

She is stubborn, but ebullient listener..

She is bad-ass, but soft-cored.

She is mischievous, but genuine.

The list would go on....

When she was abode the rock, we looked towards the west and realised it was one of the most beautiful things ever. Watching the blazing fireball go down the horizon, being aware of yourself. The breeze was strong and when it blew, her hair floated in front of her eyes. I looked into her face, she had a smile, a genuine one. She was glowing in the half-light. She caught me staring at her and she turned to me with a 'what' look. I couldn't help but smile and look right into her eyes. She sensed what I was feeling. I pulled her close to me, looked straight into her eyes. Her iris had lots of detailing that I had never noticed before. It lured me in like a vortex. I found myself getting slowly pulled towards her. I closed my eyes; of course the view of the setting sun was splendid and I shouldn't have missed it. But enjoying this moment with my eyes closed was a hundred folds better. I had an even more magnificent image inside me with my eyes closed. I could feel something rise inside me. Something intense like the setting sun itself but, inside me. I got lost as our lips graced each others.

Suddenly I heard my friend call out my name to show something. I sensed that from the tone he called out my name; the excitement. Maybe something spectacular was happening around us which I shouldn't be missing. But there was nothing more sublime to me at the moment, than what I was seeing with my eyes closed. I could see it all! The setting sun, the red clouds, the wind gushing through our faces, the lush green grass around us, the big rocks, all of it and us right in the middle. Even with my eyes shut, all the details were crystal clear..

"Was it forever? Or will it be just another sweet souvenir down the memory lane?", the thought crossed my mind.

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Knock knock on heavens door

"Bum!", screamed Jai as the chillum lit.

"Bum!", yelled Yela on top of her voice. 

I heard multiple 'bums' one after the other. Jai took a long drag from the chillum and passed it to Akhil who was on his right. 

A chillum always goes to the right, universal law. 

The moonlit night became silent once again as the 'bums' subsided. The only other sounds were the sounds of wind and water running in the stream. 

The firewood in front of me creaked as it burned it's way down creating 'fireworks'. Sebastian didn't move an inch, though a few sparks fell on him, he was busy with the chillum. He passed the chillum to his right, to me, as he was exhaling all the smoke which had filled his lungs. By just seeing his expression one would have the urge to smoke a chillum. All the warmth and comfort from the drag was widely present in his eyes. I got hold of the chillum and adjusted the safi. 

"Bum bole nath!", I shouted and adjusted the chillum to my mouth getting ready for the drag. 

I took a long drag from the chillum and I could sense the heat filling my mouth and as it slowly moved down my windpipe; I could taste the cream on my tongue and on the walls of my mouth. The minty smoke glided down and filled my lungs. That was a big relief in that icy cold weather. I felt not only warmer but much happier and relaxed. I passed the chillum to my right and I thought for a minute. If it wasn't for Alfred I wouldn't have been sitting there at that moment....

1.Planning-Easier Said than done

"Don't back out now man, even the train tickets are booked. We might not get a chance like this anytime in the future. Once everybody goes in different directions, it won't happen and you know it"

"That's true, but then again it's not that I don't want to come, I'm not in a position to do trips at the moment. You know how much things are fucked up right? No job, no degree, parents are already furious and they want me to do something about it. I've to figure out something to do with my life", I said in a single breath.

"Come on man, we'll be back in two weeks time. What are you going to do in this two weeks?", Alfred sounded desperate in trying to make this trip work.

"Hmmm. Okay let me reach home first, I haven't talked to my parents about this. When's the train by the way?"

"On 2nd evening at 8:30 from north station. I've got confirmed seats for all four of us. You come to Cochin on 31st. Justin and Akhil are leaving on 1st evening. We'll leave on the next day, we will take a taxi to the station"

"Okay, I'll give you a call after seeing what the situation is at home. I'll reach home in like 15 minutes"

"Okay, bye", Alfred hung up.

The bus had reached the stop. I took my bag and got down. My eyes were panning in all directions for an auto. I checked my watch, it was almost 9. Very few autos in my area this late in the evening. Luckily there was one auto in the corner of the junction. The auto guy sees me waving my hand and comes to me. I get inside the auto and tell him the address. He pulls the lever and brings the two-stroke engine to life. As the auto starts moving, I get lost in thoughts again.

"Oh you have come?", asked mother rhetorically as she saw me after opening the door.

"Why have you come now?", asked mother sarcastically."Has all your friends gone or what?" 

I was used to these sarcastic comments. Therefore I grinned at her without shame and went inside and closed the door behind me. All I was thinking was, today is Saturday and tomorrow, Sunday, I have to head back to Cochin as the train ticket is for Monday night. Now how would I break this news to my parents? They would literally scold and be angry at the plans. 

Luckily my father hadn't come home yet or the spilling out the plan would have been more difficult for me. It had always been like that, I had some sort of inhibition when my father was around. I couldn't tell whatever came to my mind. I had to put some sort of filter in between and think before I told him things. But with mother, things were a lot less complicated. But my uncle and aunt had come over for visit. It was best to disclose the plans with my mother alone. More the number of people there are, more questions I will have to face, more difficult it will be to convince and explain things. 

After taking a bath and changing clothes, I headed to kitchen to see whats for dinner. Also, to see if I get an opportunity to spill the beans about the trip. I could hear sounds from kitchen as my mother was preparing dinner. There she was making chapati on the stove. 

"How long will you be home this time?", asked amma.

"I will go back tomorrow afternoon", I replied.

"Whatever it is, you have to finish your degree. It is .."

"I know amma, you don't have to keep saying this all the time!", I cut her sentence off midway. "I am fed up of listening to it"

I walked towards my room as the conversation was not heading in the direction I had anticipated.

"Eat chapati and go", amma shouted behind me as I went to my room.